the guilt that no one warned you about…

Mom guilt is so real and horrible. I could write a blog post about it, but it would go on for days. If you’re a mom, you know, and we can just all be in the mom-guilt-misery club together. However, there are some random guilts that come up that take me by complete surprise. One in particular has been weighing on me and driving me completely insane…

That is the guilt of getting pregnant with your second child. Holy hell, if you would have told me I would feel this bad about getting pregnant with my second child, I probably wouldn’t have done it. Ok- that is a bit of an exaggeration, but it really does suck.  I mean Noah’s look says it all…

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I know this is a thing, because I have spoken to so many friends who are recently pregnant with their second child and are experiencing the same exact guilt. After the initial excitement wears off, a million thoughts start going through your head and only amplifies the further along you get.

  • Did I give my first child enough time to be alone in this world? I think I should have waited a bit longer…
  • Being pregnant with a toddler isn’t fair to my first child because I can’t do all the things they deserve to be doing.
  • Am I going to mess my first child up by creating a sibling?
  • How will I make sure I raise the best children when my time is split in two? I am for sure going to screw up this parenting thing…
  • How will I make time to still have alone time with my first?
  • My poor second child will never know alone time!

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I mean even typing these things out seems ridiculous, but you can’t help but spiral into these thoughts and really believe they will negatively affect your children. I have 4 siblings and I am a better person because of it, but even so, I really feel so guilty for getting pregnant.

I don’t have tips to help or things to buy or books to read to help alleviate this guilt if you are going through it. This is just something some people go through and that is ok. I think a lot of times we feel the need to fix everything including this, but sometimes it is ok to feel how you feel and let life run its course. Soon I will have two beautiful children who love playing with each other and driving each other crazy, and these feelings will all be in the past.

However, I do believe it is important to be mindful that a big change is coming, and it will be a transition for everyone involved. I will figure that one out as I go.

xoxo

shushu

 

 

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